100+ Funny Status Messages That Are Hilarious

Last Updated on

If you are looking for funny status messages for WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, then this post might help you. In this post, you can find our handpicked best and most hilarious collection of funny status messages for Facebook, WhatsApp, and other social media platforms.

One of the great things about status messages is that they reflect your mood, how happy or sad you are. So, your friends and loved ones can know about how you are feeling on a particular day.

Funny Status Messages For WhatsApp

WhatsApp is the instant messaging giant that has over 1.5 billion active users across the world. WhatsApp is now owned by Facebook as it was bought by Facebook in 2014 after 5 years of its release. In addition to text, voice and video calling, people can also share text, image and video statuses on WhatsApp. So, people are looking for funny WhatsApp status to share on their WhatsApp profiles.

Funny Status Messages

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

I wonder what happens when the doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.

God is really creative, I mean… just look at me.

The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.

One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature.

Sleep till you’re hungry…Eat till you’re sleepy.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂.

I’m in shape. “Potato” is a shape.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.

Sleep is my drug… my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.

I like dating older people because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means they’re ready for me.

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

I don’t think my iPhone is working. I pressed the home button, but I’m still here.

Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I sure do.

Walking my dog, we saw a guy in a suit walking his dog and I know my dog is thinking I don’t dress nicely for him anymore.

The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I think I accidentally chose the “impossible” mode.

I deserve a medal every day I don’t stab someone with a fork.

People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

I wish there was a day between Saturday and Sunday.

I like hashtags because they look like waffles #.

I love buying new things but I hate spending money.

I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I can’t put it down.

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

My last words will be “I left a million dollars under the…”

Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette.

The best things in life are not things.

Oh, I’m sorry, was my sass too much for you?

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.

I told the doctor that I’d broken my arm in several places. He said not to go to those places.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, that would be an amazing coincidence.

Asking me if I want another drink is like asking me if I want some money.

There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.

Scratch here to see my status.

Putting the “hot” in “psychotic.”

I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.

The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He’s alright now.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Obviously not me. Get over it.

The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.

It’s a new millennium, where’s the “Fold” button on my dryer?

Funny Status Messages For Facebook

Facebook is the largest social media giant having more than 2.3 billion active users. As it is the largest social network, more people around you are also on it. So, people want to share the different status of Facebook for their families and friends. Here are some of the hilariously funny Facebook status messages.

Funny Status Messages

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “Breathe, man! Breathe!”

You can’t put a value on human life, but my wife’s life insurance company made a pretty fair offer.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? It said concentrate!

Time flies after you hit the snooze button.

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

I need to go to Wal-Mart but I can’t find my pajamas.

WiFi, food, my bed. Perfection.

After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to realize it was just a Fanta sea.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I’m not actually funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure.

The bags under my eyes are Gucci.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”

The bill came to $50. The leprechaun looked in his wallet and said, “Shoot. I’m short.”

I’m cool but global warming made me hot.

Always give your 100 percent ….unless you’re donating blood.

Of course, I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.

Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss one day.

Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.

I’m so tired, my tired is tired.

Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.

I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job on the road crew, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

I told the cashier- I want to open a joint account with anyone who has lots of money.

The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up?

Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

“Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If I’m not, just read this message again.

I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it.

I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Did you hear that joke that doesn’t offend anyone? Neither did I.

You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *